Discovering Your Inner Samurai Blog

The Original Samurai Teddy Bear

Some of you have asked . . .

Many of you have wondered . . .

Now you know . . .

. . . yes, Virginia, there is an original samurai teddy bear.

It's true!

Let me introduce you to the one who penned this blog's tag line . . . we understand that even Samurai need teddy bears.  He's cute.  He's smart.  He's well read, and he's fun.  He is an entrepreneur at heart and was once a small business owner.  He's . . . my brother.   

The Original Samurai Teddy Bear will be a guest blogger here from time to time, blogging about life as a Samurai teddy bear. 

Welcome Original Samurai Teddy Bear,  My readers are going to love you!

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Sue Monk Kidd on Life Transitions

If you are going through a life transition, whether it be a career change, divorce, loss of parents or significant other, a natural disaster, or physical illness, Sue Monk Kidd's When The Heart Waits will be a helpful book to read.

Sue Monk Kidd, author of the New York Times Bestseller The Secret Life of Bees, writes this book from her own personal life journey and midlife experience. In it, she grapples with the sacred questions of life as she walks through her own transformational process. She talks a lot about waiting. The importance of waiting. And describes waiting as: "the passionate and contemplative crucible in which new life and spiritual wholeness can be birthed."

Transformation is very much part of the inner Samurai journey.  It comes when we least expect it, and, seemingly, unasked for. It's as if we are summoned to an inner transformation, to a crossing over from one identity to another. From what to what may be unknown. Though, the call is unmistakable. The calling is to undertake a new passage along our spiritual journey.

We've all gone through these transitions, and often more than one.  Carol McClelland, of Transition Dynamics is a transition expert. In her most recent Seasons of Change blog, Carol talks about how much the definition of transition has changed over the past 20 years:

In that era, the word transition brought to mind someone passing away or going through menopause. Furthermore, the definition in the dictionary didn't help. It noted that a transition was a noun...but not a verb. So the dictionary recognized that transitions exist, but there were no words to describe that we moved through transitions or how we did it.

I think Carol makes a great point--until recently, there hasn't been a lot of help available to those going through a transition. Fortunately, now there is, and Sue Monk Kidd's book When The Heart Waits is good place to start and earns a place in the Samurai Reading Room.

What was, or is, your transition experience like?

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Rant On! The Ignoring of Joshua Bell

Today . . . I am ranting about the Washington Post's article Pearls Before Breakfast my client, Dana Weekley, sent me about Joshua Bell. In the video, you are going to see one of the most famous and easily recognizable world-class violinists busking at L'Enfant Plaza Metro Station in DC. Here's what's remarkable: he is almost completely ignored!

People are more concerned about getting to work on time then appreciating great music.

Now what's up with that!?!?!

Since when did getting to work become more important than listening to great music?

Anyone else want to get in on this rant?

Rant on!

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Cultivating Our Inner Samurai, Part 3

This is the third blog in a five-part blog series on Cultivating Our Inner Samurai. Click here to read Part 1 and here for Part 2.

Using the Book of Five Rings as a starting poing, we will explore what it means to go inward and cultivate your inner Samurai.

Today, we will be exploring Miyamoto Musashi first rule:  Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters

Musashi's philosophy included nine rules. These nine rules are the quintessential distillation of everything that Musashi wanted to tell his readers about how to live life. Though written more then 350 years ago, his philosophy has influenced modern business people in Japan and China, as well as in Europe and North America. They are principals that apply to the outer world of business and the inner world of your still small voice. Musashi’s steps will help you get in touch with and strengthen your inner Samurai.

INNER SAMURAI DISCERNMENT

The last four points on Musashi’s list stress how to show up in the outer world, and how to conduct yourself in your day-to-day life.  Conceptually, they are easily understood.  However, the application requires deftness, skill, and mindful attention to achieve.  Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters means to distinguish between what is beneficial and detrimental to you.  This is called discernment.  To discern in the outer world what is most advantageous and harmonious with your inner world takes mindful attention.  The key to all this rests on two tiny words:  to you. 

To you.  Two tiny words packed with great import and meaning.  And with these two tiny words we find ourselves, once again, back where we started at rule number one.  The foundational rule upon which all else rests--be honest about who you are and what you want most.  Man, you just can’t get away from that rule, can you?  Especially if you are a woman reading this blog.

Why woman?  Because women generally worry more than men about the opinions of others.  To the detriment of themselves, they overly care about what other people think.  Our society has taught women to put the feelings and needs of others first.  Consequently, we have been labeled selfish or called a bitch the few times we have taken a stand--Take the "How Selfish Are You?" at Blogthings, to find out.

Called putting other people first, this is an insidious way of thinking that often leaves women feeling depleted, resentful, and invisible.  Especially as we grow older and the needs of our children aren’t so completely dictating our actions, the pattern may be so ingrained that we don’t even stop to discern what would be most beneficial to us.

Musashi’s fifth rule needs to be taken to heart by women because we don’t do it enough, and aren’t often supported in doing so.  We are often afraid to speak our truth for fear of repercussion.  We all too often choose the path of non-confrontation just to keep peace.  And what’s the cost?  The cost is your life!  Eventually, you become nothing more than a shell.  A virtual Stepford Wife who knows just what to say, just what to do, and just how to look to draw the least amount of disapproval and disappointment from others.  Though the problem with this is that you aren’t being real.  You aren’t being authentic.  You aren’t being genuine. 

Inner Samurais unite!  This is a call for you to stand up and make a difference in the world.  A call for you to be true to who you are.  Not by ignoring the needs of others who are important to you in your life; instead, put you, first, at the center of the equation.  I know, I know.  This smacks against everything you’ve been taught.  That’s okay.  You’ll quickly get over it.  Thinking independently is what an inner Samurai does.  Being who you are and discerning what is most beneficial to you is what being an inner Samurai is all about.  So, go forth into the outer world armed with your inner truth.  Make decisions based on this truth, and know that all will be well.   

So what do you think of rule number five? 

How are you at being honest about who you are and what you want most?

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Creative Pen-her Disguised as a Dog

Pren-hers come in all shapes and sizes. Some even look like dogs.

My client and editor, Mary Ellen Whitaker, sent this video clip to me.  It was immediately nominated for this week's originality, creativity, and pluck trophy.

Smart Dog in Pool

Thanks, Ellen for bringing this to our attention.

So what did you think of our creative pren-her?

Were you as impressed as I?

I bet you were!

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Who Moved My Cheese?

  Do you know the book Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, MD?

It’s a short, easy to read allegory about change. It reminds us of our need to find our way in the maze and to succeed in changing times.

In it are four imaginary characters: The mice, Sniff and Scurry, and the little people, Hem and Haw.

Together, they represent the simple and the complex parts of ourselves.

Sniff - sniffs out change early.
Scurry - scurries into action.
Hem - denies and resists change, as he fears it will lead to something worse.
Haw - learns to adapt in time when he sees that changing leads to something better.

Finding cheese meant a great deal more to the little people than just having enough of it to eat every day.  Finding cheese was the little people’s way of getting what they thought they needed to be happy.They had their own ideas what cheese meant to them, depending on their taste.

For some, finding cheese was having material things. For others it was enjoying good health, or developing a spiritual sense of well being. For Haw, cheese just meant feeling safe, having a loving family some day, and living in a cozy cottage on Cheddar Lane. To Hem, cheese was becoming a Big Cheese in charge of others and owning a big house on Camembert Hill.

The main activity in Who Moved My Cheese? is looking for and finding cheese. Sniff and Scurry work as a team, as do Hem and Haw. Eventually, they all find a large cheese supply in Cheese Station C and enjoy it for quite some time. Then, one day when they arrive at Cheese Station C, the cheese is gone! Responding quickly to the situation, Sniff and Scurry immediately take off in search of new cheese, while Hem and Haw stay and try to figure out what happened.

Hem wasn't about to go out in search of new cheese. He felt entitled to have the cheese and “wasn’t going to change until they put the cheese back.” Haw, meanwhile, was processing everything that had happened and concluded that he needed to go back out into the maze to search of a new Cheese Station.

Here are the 12 realizations Hem came to while searching through the maze for new cheese. Each of these gems are valuable to keep in mind for the Accidental Pren-her™ in the midst of change.

• The more important your cheese is to you, the more you want to hold on to it.
• If you do not change, you can become extinct.
• What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
• Smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old.
• Movement in a new direction helps you find new cheese.
• When you move beyond fear, you feel free.
• Imagining yourself enjoying new cheese even before finding it, leads you to it.
• The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you will find new cheese.
• Old beliefs do not lead you to new cheese.
• When you see that you can find and enjoy new cheese, you change course.
• Noticing small changes early, helps you adapt to the bigger changes that are to come.
• Move with the cheese and enjoy it.

Anyone else out there read the book Who Moved My Cheese?

If you want to read more before you buy the book, Scott Watermasysk does a nice job of further sumarizing Haw's big picture conclusions.

Which character did you relate to the most?

Are you a Hem, who resists change, or a Haw who adapts and changes?

The original Accidental Pren-her™

5 Things To Do Every Day To Be Successful

Today . . . I am reading Andy Wibbel's blog.

He was tagged by Ellen for Aaron's Simply Successful Secret's meme.

I liked what both Ellen and Andy had to say, so I thought I would play along and add mine.

1.  Morning Constitutional.  There's nothing like starting your day out with a walk in nature. There's something both healthy and meditative about walking. I do it five days a week--usually about an hour.  I love to start my day this way, and feel out of sorts when I don't.

2.  Journal at Night. I journal just about every night in a special hand-bound Japanese journal.  I first discovered these hardbound elegant journals last summer when I was attending the Omega Institute.  Now, I have one for every season. I love the quality of paper, the waxed-thread binding, and sumi-e design on the front covers.

3.  Laugh Often.  There's nothing like a good laugh to put everything into perspective, diffuse tense situations, and keep it real. I like to laugh. Even better, I like to talk with people who laugh. My friend Sonya Baker is a perfect example. Every time we talk we laugh--big belly laughs. I always feel good talking to her, no matter what the subject, because we laugh.

4.  Put Relationships First. Whether it is talking with my brother (the original Samurai teddy bear), conversing with friends, or answering client's emails . . . relationships come first for me. Relationships are important to me, and spending time in relationship with others enriches my life, beyond belief.

5.  Choose Happiness. In 1997, I made an important decision.  I decided to make being happy my top priority. Sound simple? Try it sometime! Not letting anyone or anything get in the way of your happiness takes some doing. Though, the rewards are far worth the effort.

Your turn:  I'm tagging Yvonne, Andrea, Dana, Anita, and Carol to write a post about the five things you do everyday to be successful.

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Cultivating Our Inner Samurai, Part 2

This is the second blog in a five-part blog series on Cultivating Our Inner Samurai. Click here to read Part 1.

Using the Book of Five Rings as a starting poing, we will explore what it means to go inward and cultivate your inner Samurai.

Today, we will be exploring Miyamoto Musashi first rule:  Do not think dishonestly.

Musashi's philosophy included nine rules. These nine rules are the quintessential distillation of everything that Musashi wanted to tell his readers about how to live life. Though written more then 350 years ago, his philosophy has influenced modern business people in Japan and China, as well as in Europe and North America. They are principals that apply to the outer world of business and the inner world of your still small voice. Musashi’s steps will help you get in touch with and strengthen your inner Samurai.

THINK HONESTLY!

The first step, ‘do not think dishonestly,’ when turned around becomes: think honestly. This is the keystone upon which rests the other eight rules. It calls every woman to think honestly. Think honestly about who you are and what you most want. Think honestly about the way you truly desire to live your life. Think honestly. Not about how you are living it now. Not about how you’ve lived it in the past. Certainly not about how others think you should live your life. Think beyond the way you are currently living your life to something bigger and more exciting. To that which will inspirit and inspire your vision.

It doesn’t matter what it is. It just has to be yours, completely yours, fully yours, and totally honest. So, who are you? What do you want most in life? How is it that you truly desire to live your life? Think big. Fortune favors the bold. Keep it real.

So what do you think of rule number one? 
How are you at being honest about who you are and what you want most?

The original Accidental Pren-her™

The Tortoise and the Hare Model for Successful Small Business Start Ups

My mother used to affectionately refer to me as a turtle because at swim lessons, while the other kids eagerly jumped right into the pool ready to start, I stood near the edge, waiting. I wasn’t afraid of the water. Rather, I was taking time to prepare for the event. Then, when I was good and ready, I jumped right in and swam.

Thus began my relationship with the fable “The Tortoise and the Hare” found in the much beloved bedside collection The Fables of Aesop. “The Tortoise and the Hare” is perfect for illustrating sound start up practices.

Aesop’s The Tortoise and the Hare

Once upon a time, there was a hare who, boasting that he could run faster than anyone else, was forever teasing tortoise about his slowness. Then one day, the irate tortoise accepted the challenge when the hare boasted that “there was no one in the world who could beat him in a race.”

The next day the race began, and the hare yawned sleepily as the meek tortoise trudged slowly off. When the hare saw how painfully slow his rival was, he decided, half-asleep on his feet, to have breakfast and a quick nap. "Take your time!" he said."I'll have forty winks and catch up with you in a minute."

The sun started to sink below the horizon. The tortoise, who had been plodding towards the winning post since morning, was less than a yard away from the finish when the hare awoke with a jolt. Away he dashed! Though he leapt and bounded with great effort and speed toward the finish line, he was too late. The tortoise had beaten him. Tired and in disgrace, he slumped down beside the tortoise who said, with a knowing smile, “Slowly does it every time!"

The Tortoise and the Hare Start Up Model

From the very start of this fable, it seems absurd that the slow, prodigious tortoise would even consider pitting himself against the swift and built-for-speed hare. Though everyone can appreciate the tortoise’s desire to quiet the hare’s bragging and silence his teasing, to the tortoise, the race was never about speed or silencing a bully. It was about following through on his word. It was walking the talk, doing what he said he would do--something the hare never saw coming. The tortoise was all about the long game while the hare was about the short. Both approaches are important for a successful small business start up.

The Tortoise Speaks
Do you have an overall plan for start up success and becoming a leader in your industry?

• Do you have a viable niche market?
• Do you have a purple cow product/service?
• Is your profit margin adequate to support your income goals?
• Do you have cohesive branding that effectively communicates what you do?
• Do you have a business coach or mentor?
• Do you have lots of time?
• Do you have the courage and commitment to see it through?
• Do you have sustained financial recourses?

The Hare Chimes In
Are you able to easily adapt and maneuver within the overall plan?

• Are you computer savvy?
• Do you have a reliable computer with high-speed Internet service?
• Does a reputable Internet company host your domain?
• Do you have the tools and skills to create a web site and edit web pages?
• Do you have a variety of ways to drive visitors to your web site?
• Do you have an Internet merchant account and shopping cart?
• Do you have a list serve or another way to send thousands of emails out to customers/clients?

The Tortoise and the Hare Share Thoughts

Realistically, it takes the winning combination of tortoise and hare characteristics to successfully start up and launch a new small business. It really isn’t a matter of one being better than another, nor is it about choice. It’s a combination of preparation, flexibility, strategy, ability, sustainability and maneuverability in today’s business world that makes the difference between a success start up success and failure.

Moral of the Story

Getting out to an early start may seem like the thing to do, yet, the moral of The Tortoise and the Hare is that slow and steady wins the race. Follow the example of the tortoise: focus on the task, pay close attention to the tried-and-true business start up fundamentals, and see things through. Then follow the example of the hare by being nimble and quick to adapt and maneuver when necessary. Taking the best from both the tortoise and the hare ensures that slow and steady will win the race, while high-octane speed and adaptability will set the pace.

Are you an Accidental Pren-her™ with a tortoise and a hare story to share?

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Time Management Issues

I know I do!

Sometimes I am really great with how I manage my time, and at other times . . . well, I’m a disaster!

If you take a quick look around the blogosphere at what other folks are saying about time management, you get everything from the 43 Folders blog about Bob Parsons’ (CEO and founder of GoDaddy.com) Hardass Time Management to Penelope Trunk’s (columnist at the Boston Globe), article on 10 Tips for Time Management in a Multitasking World.

Time management seems to be a pretty common issue for most of us. On the one hand, we can breath a sigh of relief knowing that “we are in this together,” and on the other hand, we can run kicking and screaming from the plethora of books out there on the subject. Though there obviously isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to our time management issue, some authors have come closer than others at finding one that does.

Dave Lakhani’s book, The Power of an Hour, is one of those that comes closer. In his book, Dave does a pretty good job at outlining a process that works. In an easy to read, easy to follow format, Dave applies his process to relationships, finances, self-improvement, creating a master life vision, sales and marketing, and, of course, time management.

I’ve been using his one hour action plan and fearsome focus for about a year now. I used it to write the first draft of my book, launch my web site, and find my business focus. Now, I’m using it for time management--imagine that! It’s such a straightforward and versatile book that I just had to share this gem from my pren-her reading room.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Fellow Pren-her In Action

Today . . . I am reading an urgent email from my friend and Publisher, Yvonne DiVita. 

The thing I like about this email is that it is real.  It is a real request from a real person about a real friend.  Out of this realness came a terrific pren-her solution.  Read the email below, then click on the link to the blog and respond if you feel called to do so.  Yeah Lena . . . fortune favors the bold!

From Yvonne:

Lena West, who writes about technology for my blog every Monday, has a serious issue to solve. She is desperate to help a good friend out. She has posted about this on Lip-sticking this week and I agreed to let it stay up for the entire day yesterday and today.

I'm not asking you to help Lena... I merely ask that you perhaps visit the blog, take advantage of Lena's offer if it applies, and/or share the thought. That's all. It just seems to me that this is what community is all about - the ability to pitch in and help real people, when you can. We all know that blogs are great tools for charity events and for viral marketing, but I think they are also great at highlighting need and getting folks to participate. This isn't about adding your voice or your check to an ever-growing bottom-line. It's about helping a friend of a friend.

The blog is called There's No Place Like Home. 

Take a read, link to it, consider passing the world along in your post. 

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Cultivating Our Inner Samurai, Part I

This is the first blog in a five-part blog series on Cultivating Our Inner Samurai.

Using the the Book of Five Rings as a starting poing, we will explore what it means to go inward and cultivate your inner Samurai.

Learning to go inward for the answers takes some practice.

Arguably, one of the most famous books on the practice of going inward is the Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi circa 1645. The Book of Five Rings was written at a time when feudal Japan was going through a period of great upheaval and social change. Japan was struggling to recover from more than four centuries of internal strife, and though the country was united, many samurai were out of work. Therefore, master-less samurai roamed across Japan looking for other samurai, against whom to test their swords.

Miyamoto’s father was a samurai. Miyamoto, following in his father’s footsteps trained as a samurai, though ended up being one of the master-less samurai roaming the countryside testing swords after the unification of Japan. However, Miyamoto was also a philosopher, a sumi-e painter (form of Japanese painting emphasizing the white space and lines in the painting), and a sculptor. He was also a life-long Zen practitioner.

When Miyamoto was in his 60s, he decided to write down the philosophy that had determined the course of his life path. In the Book of Five Rings he explains nine rules for studying his path.

1. Do not think dishonestly
2. The Way (path) is in training
3. Become acquainted with every art
4. Know the Ways of all professions
5. Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters
6. Develop intuitive judgment and understanding for everything
7. Perceive those things that cannot be seen
8. Pay attention even to trifles
9. Do nothing that is of no use

He then further instructs:

It is important to start by setting these broad principles in your heart, and train in the Way of strategy. If you do not look at things on a large scale it will be difficult for you to master strategy. If you learn and attain this strategy you will never lose even to twenty or thirty enemies. More than anything to start with you must set your heart on strategy and earnestly stick to the Way.

So what do you think of Miyamoto's nine rules. Do you think they apply to the Way of the Inner Samurai?

The original Accidental Pren-her™

To Everything There Is A Season

Whenever the unexpected lands in our path, it is always a stepping-stone to where you intend to go. Train wrecks are just trains changing tracks, and there is a reason and perfection for everything.

This is a good thing to keep in mind as you move from accidental pren-her™ to entrepreneurial woman.

I first came to know this when I was a young child.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was three-and-a-half (you know, the a-half is important when you are that age) years old. I remember exactly when I knew this, though I’m not sure I was actually ever told. I see it in my three-and-a-half year old yes every time I look at the photo taken by my dad of my Grandmother Stewart, my mom and me.  We were vacationing at Cape May--a place we would often go.

My grandmother has a stylish dark blue hat on with the mesh visor tucked carefully into the fold of her hat. She is standing slightly behind and to the left of my mother. My mom has on a fashionable short-sleeved dress, her long arms resting lightly on the railing, her fingers casually intertwined. I am on my mom’s left, in front of my grandmother, wearing black patent-leather shoes with white lace anklets, and a little girl’s dress with delicate purple flowers on it with a wide purple sash tied into a bow in the back. I am gripping the second railing, lower down, with both hands.

What unites us is the look on our faces. We are all dour. Not one of us is smiling. My three-and-a-half year-old eyes look serious. As if, a great knowing was in them. Every time I look at that picture, the same involuntary expression comes to mind and I think to myself, You knew, didn’t you? Yes, I did know, and my knowing was confirmed by my mom getting sicker and sicker as the cancer spread throughout her lymph system. This was my first brush with unexpected occurrences.

We had a housekeeper during that time, Mrs. McMillan, who lived with us during the week and went home on weekends. As my mom’s heath declined, Mrs. McMillan began taking care of me, more and more. While my dad was at work, Mrs. McMillan and I would fold clothes, read stories, and do nice things for my mom together. One day, we were outside scouting in our autumn flower garden for some blue hydrangeas. I was really quite set about picking blue hydrangeas for my mom’s bedside table because that was my mother’s favorite flower.

Of course, being so late in the season, the blue hydrangeas by the side of the house were all but gone. Undaunted, I made us search all the flower beds for blooming blue hydrangeas, telling her, “I’m sure there is one alive somewhere!” When we could not find them, and I could not be persuaded to substitute the rich yellow and maroon hardy mums for the blue hydrangeas, Mrs. McMillan turned to me and said, “You know, Susan, there is a time and season for everything.” I stopped, dead in my tracks, looking angrily up at her. She held my gaze. She looked sad. I felt my throat tighten with tears. I slowly unfolded my hand, releasing the dried hydrangeas I had been holding. My old five-year-old soul said, “I know.” Then the child who was soon to experience the first major loss of her life quickly turned and ran to the house, into her mother’s arms, sobbing.

My mom died soon after, and at her funeral, I heard, for the first time, the scripture verse associated with those words. “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted,” and on it goes. From those words sprung great knowing in my young five-year-old heart.

Does anyone else have a special story to share about the meaning of, "To everything there is a season?"

The original Accidental Pren-her™

How to Create Prosperity

Most people equate prosperity with money, and they think that if they have a lot of money than that means they are prosperous and that if they have very little, they are not. Creating True Prosperity by Shakti Gawain, bestselling author of Creative Visualization is a perfect book for the inner Samurai bookshelf. Like the Samurai who knows that strength is an inside job, so too does Gawain who says that “the key point to understand is that prosperity is an internal experience, not an external state, and it is an experience that is not tied to having a certain amount of money.”

Through prosperity stories and self-exploration exercises Gawain reveals the inner relationship between power and money. “The more comfortable we are with being powerful, the more money we are likely to create in our lives.” The power that she is talking about is the true, authentic power that resides within the inner Samurai of each one of us. 

When working with clients who are starting up a small business, the topic of money frequently comes up. Not just from the standpoint of money needed to start up a business, but also from the point of hidden beliefs about money that are getting in the way of their success. Often at the root is the belief that they really don’t have much power to affect the world, and this is the belief that is getting in the way of their success. When that is the case, I often recommend this book from the inner Samurai bookshelf.

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Casual Dinner Party for Interesting Women

Today . . . I am reading an email from my friend, Pam Peyron.  Every so often, she will feel the urge to write and share her life with others, so she sends out mass emails that feel wonderfully personalized.

One of the things in her email caught my attention--Casual Dinner Party for Interesting Women.  Immediately, I knew I was going to be sharing this wonderful idea with my blog readers. It is simply too good of an idea not to! Here's what Pam had to say:

This past week was the inaugural event . . . a monthly Casual Dinner Party for Interesting Women. The seeds have been harbored in my heart for many seasons, not knowing exactly how or when they would emerge. A recent read of Keith Ferrazzi's book, Never Eat Alone, gave me the inspiration and permission I needed to move forward. Keith holds the belief that there is power in a shared meal in your home to comfort, nurture, and connect people. This is a shared belief I hold, too. He has been hosting monthly dinners for years to expand his social horizons. He comments in his book that his strongest links in life have been forged at that table.

Pam initially contacted three of her friends to join her for dinner. Those friends brought three more friends until there were seven seated 'round their dinner party table."Everyone was energized," says Pam, "and for me, I now have delightful acquaintances with two women I had never met before!"

Pam and her friends had such a great time at their first dinner that they quickly decided to make Casual Dinner Party for Interesting Women a monthly event. They plan to rotate homes and responsibilities. They also decided to follow the rules that Keith has in his book, and above all . . . keep it simple and have fun!

I was so jazzed by Pam's experience that I went out and ordered Never Eat Alone, and plan to gather together a group of interesting women for my first casual dinner party! Wanna come?

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Courage, The Antidote

This is one of my favorite quotes, and one I often bring to mind when I am feeling fearful.

Ambrose Redmoon penned it from the confines of his wheelchair, after a car accident left him a paraplegic. His story and his quote inspire me.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than one's fear. The timid presume it is lack of fear that allows the brave to act when the timid do not. But to take action when one is not afraid is easy. To refrain when afraid is also easy. To take action regardless of fear is brave.

Below are three very courageous women I am showcasing who have reached beyond their fear for something greater:

Jeanie Rule -- Is a divorced mother of two teenagers who has gone against the grain to build her own business as a life coach.

Jennifer Silvera -- Lost her husband eighteen months ago in the line of duty. Alone, and with two young children to raise, Jennifer has the courage to reach through her loss by writing a book for other women who have lost their husbands in the line of duty.

Valerie Rickel -- Made a very courageous change in her life by moving from the city of Los Angeles, where she had lived her entire life, to a lovely little soulful town in Southern Oregon. She simply packed up her car, drove and didn’t look back.

Do you know of other courageous women who have reached beyond their fear?

How about sending me their names so i can include them in my next profiles of courage blog.

The original Accidental Pren-her™

Who Moved My Cheese? For the Accidental Pren-her

Do you know the book Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, MD?

It’s a short, easy to read allegory about change. It reminds us of our need to find our way in the maze and to succeed in changing times.

In it are four imaginary characters: The mice, Sniff and Scurry, and the little people, Hem and Haw.

Together, they represent the simple and the complex parts of ourselves.

Sniff - sniffs out change early.
Scurry - scurries into action.
Hem - denies and resists change, as he fears it will lead to something worse.
Haw - learns to adapt in time when he sees that changing leads to something better.

Finding cheese meant a great deal more to the little people than just having enough of it to eat every day.  Finding cheese was the little people’s way of getting what they thought they needed to be happy.They had their own ideas what cheese meant to them, depending on their taste.

For some, finding cheese was having material things. For others it was enjoying good health, or developing a spiritual sense of well being. For Haw, cheese just meant feeling safe, having a loving family some day, and living in a cozy cottage on Cheddar Lane. To Hem, cheese was becoming a Big Cheese in charge of others and owning a big house on Camembert Hill.

The main activity in Who Moved My Cheese? is looking for and finding cheese. Sniff and Scurry work as a team, as do Hem and Haw. Eventually, they all find a large cheese supply in Cheese Station C and enjoy it for quite some time. Then, one day when they arrive at Cheese Station C, the cheese is gone! Responding quickly to the situation, Sniff and Scurry immediately take off in search of new cheese, while Hem and Haw stay and try to figure out what happened.

Hem wasn't about to go out in search of new cheese. He felt entitled to have the cheese and “wasn’t going to change until they put the cheese back.” Haw, meanwhile, was processing everything that had happened and concluded that he needed to go back out into the maze to search of a new Cheese Station.

Here are the 12 realizations Hem came to while searching through the maze for new cheese. Each of these gems are valuable to keep in mind for the Accidental Pren-her™ in the midst of change.

• The more important your cheese is to you, the more you want to hold on to it.
• If you do not change, you can become extinct.
• What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
• Smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old.
• Movement in a new direction helps you find new cheese.
• When you move beyond fear, you feel free.
• Imagining yourself enjoying new cheese even before finding it, leads you to it.
• The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you will find new cheese.
• Old beliefs do not lead you to new cheese.
• When you see that you can find and enjoy new cheese, you change course.
• Noticing small changes early, helps you adapt to the bigger changes that are to come.
• Move with the cheese and enjoy it.

Anyone else out there read the book Who Moved My Cheese?

If you want to read more before you buy the book, Scott Watermasysk does a nice job of further sumarizing Haw's big picture conclusions.

Which character did you relate to the most?

Are you a Hem, who resists change, or a Haw who adapts and changes?

The original Accidental Pren-her™