Today's special guest on The Accidental Pren-her Show, Stories of the Unexpected is Accidental Pren-her Lauren Sullivan. This 12-minute interview talks about how Lauren reinvented herself.
In 2000, after a harrowing experience dealing with her ex-husband's crystal meth addiction, a SWAT team intervention, and the ending of her corporate life working as a marketing executive in Silicon Vally, Lauren was suffering from extreme burnout.
Today, Lauren is an author, life coach, and retreat facilitator. She is a successful small business owner and founder of Inspired Life Design and Life Choice Retreats of Santa Barbara. Her new book, Give Wings to Your Dreams: Reawaken Your Joy and Passion for Life offers inspiration and tools for women standing at the precipice of change who want to take charge of their lives.
You can listen to Lauren's fascinating interview from your computer by clicking on the play button, download the MP3 file and listening on your iPod or other MP3 listening device, or read it in full below.
Enjoy!
Susan L. Reid
The original Accidental Pren-her™
S:
Welcome to another episode of the Accidental Pren-her Show: Stories of
the Unexpected. I am your host, Susan Reid, and today we have with us
as a very special guest Lauren Sullivan. She is the founder of Inspired
Life Design and Life Choice Retreats of Santa Barbara. Welcome, Lauren.
L: Hi Susan!
S: Let’s talk a little bit about your journey into the entrepreneurial lifestyle. At one time, I know you were traditionally employed as a marketing executive in the big Silicon Valley. Now, after many years of transitions, you are an author, a life coach, and a retreat facilitator. Best of all, you’ve just written a book that gives wings to your dreams and reawakens your joy and passion for life that I just finished reading yesterday. Let me tell you, Lauren, I so enjoyed your book. The best part of the book was the Seven Stepping Stones that you wrote about that will transform people’s lives. And the cool thing about those stepping stones is that they are based on your life experience – the life experience you’ve had that has molded that into wisdom and strength and turned you into this successful author, life coach, and retreat facilitator that you are. Congratulations on your book, and let’s begin our journey. When did your entrepreneurial journey begin?
L: Thank you, Susan. My journey began in the year 2000, actually. It was a big year for a lot of people, and it was a big year for me, too. I was literally recovering from such extreme burnout and stress-related illness that I had taken a medical leave of absence from my job. I had been dealing with the Silicon Valley fast lane, which in and of itself can do some people in. But I also was dealing with a massive personal crisis with my husband at the time, but we were separated – his crystal meth addiction. And, let me tell you, it just turned my life completely inside out and upside down. I became a single mother of two children at the time, as well.
S: I read that in the opening chapter of your book – I think it’s the prologue – and I just couldn’t stop reading. I was so impressed with hearing about the situation that happened with you and your husband and your children, and then realizing how far you’ve come since that. So had you ever been a small business owner before?
L: No. I never had, but I thought about it in many forms over the years. Like I said, I was working in Silicon Valley for, gosh, 15, almost 17 years. I kind of felt like a fish out of water at times…I mean, I was successful, climbing the ladder dutifully and all that, but it wasn’t my “thing”. So I fantasized about having my own business for years. I just didn’t have that particular passion to do it.
S: You know, many of our readers and listeners fantasize about that very same thing, and taking that first step is often the challenging thing for them. What made you decide to go into business for yourself?
L: I have to say that what it took was getting to the point where I was so crystal clear about why I wanted to start a business and what it is I was wanting to do. For me, it was to make a difference for other people. In getting that clarity on who I was and what I had to offer and how I could help other people, one thing followed another and everything fell into place. Then it just became easy because the push was coming from so deep inside me.
S: So did you have a sudden epiphany? It sounds like it. Or was there something specific that propelled you to change your life so drastically?
L: I’d say it was more of a series of epiphanies. There were a number of them. It’s kind of like a friend of mine talks about the spiral staircase – you come up to different landings. My initial epiphany was when I was going through the medical leave of absence and then I came back to work kind of on partial disability, and I was just dealing with the same incredible dread of going back to work. Then I took this incredible two-week vacation and I was so rested and relaxed. And I’ll never forget coming back to my desk – January 5th, I think it was – and within 15 minutes, all of that relaxation just completely stripped away. I was stressed, I was tense, I was “What am I doing here?” And that, I would say, was the biggest epiphany, which was “I need to do something different, and I need to do it now.” However, what I did was not an instant “I’m going to go into business.” It was a series of things and learnings in my life that led me to the point where I was actually ready to start my business.
S: You mentioned that in your book, too, and what I got from that was how well you listened to your body.
L: Yes. That’s one of my favorite examples of learning how to trust my intuition. I recognized that this wasn’t working. I started thinking about going out on my own as a consultant and I started doing some research on that…and I felt my body just going, “Yes! This is so exciting!” And then the voice of the “should” hit me over the head and made me look at job descriptions within my company that maybe would just be something different…it would be safer. And I felt my stomach knot in this big, huge ball. And it was, like, “Oh. I see. This is not for me.” And then moving out, taking a step in the direction of working for myself as a consultant just made so much sense because it felt so good to do that.
S: You say in your book that you took a leap of faith and moved to Santa Barbara to start your coaching and retreat business. Tell us a little bit more about that.
L: Yeah. In retrospect, in describing it, it sounds like a leap of faith. But, really, I took a series of steps. One was leaving my salaried job. I took on a consulting gig that was pretty secure, at least I thought. It was a great job and I had a year contract, but towards the end of that year contract, the bottom fell out in the Silicon Valley job market. I found myself not only without a job, but without a severance package or anything because I was now working as a consultant. But the good news was that during that year of working as a consultant, I had the flexible hours, I had the time, I had the drive to kind of look for what I really wanted to do. And I had discovered coaching. I had gotten the training and was well on the way to the certification for it. So when the layoff happened, it was like a cosmic kick in the pants to say, “Now is the time, not later.” Of course, I had this really logical plan about how I was going to do things, a little bit of the marketing work, and make this sort of easy transition…and it just didn’t happen that way. So, yes, after about 24 hours of panic and tears, I just said, “Oh. I think this is a sign. It’s time to do this.” And I decided to sell my house, I picked up my roots and my kids, and we moved to Santa Barbara, and everything’s been great.
S: Two things you mentioned in the story you just told tell me is that this could happen because, #1, you listened to and trusted your intuitive knowing or your intuition.
L: Yes.
S: And #2, because you already knew what was in the best interest for you.
L: Yes. And I had already done planning. I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do. I had a plan. So I knew it was the right thing to do, but it was the timeline that shrunk on me really fast. It was really a matter of facing my fear head on, and realizing it was just a fear and that I had to thank it for sharing, and then I went on and did what I wanted to do.
S: So at what point in all of this did you decide to write your book?
L: Well, it wasn’t the media, but I think a lot of us having that longing deep inside that “Someday I’m going to write a book,” and especially if you’re somebody that reads a lot of books, which I was. I just realized at some point – I just woke up – and realized that the huge transition I had gone through in my own life, just from the place of such despair and stress to a place of feeling joy and really passionate about what I do, having my life work on all levels, feeling balanced, and I thought, “Wow. That’s something. If I can figure out how to put this in a book and share my journey, I really think it would help others.” And that’s how it started. It was just my heartfelt desire to share what I learned through my own trials and tribulations.
S: Reading that book will help many others, and thank you for that.
L: Thank you.
S: Here are the final five questions that we ask everyone at the end of our interviews.
What one word describes your life today, Lauren?
L: What a great question. I would say it has to be “contentment.” Contentment in finding that place of inner peace, especially when you feel like it has eluded you. It’s just wonderful to realize that you’ve gotten to that place.
S: And what quality or characteristic is most important to you?
L: Absolutely my ability to inspire others, whether it’s through my writing or my speaking or my coaching. And knowing that I help others through a life-changing experience. I’m told very often how much they appreciate my gentle and compassionate approach.
S: What turns you off?
L: The opposite of the gentle and compassionate approach. You know, the coaches who crack the whip and want to push you into action without really first taking a step back just to figure out what you want. What is it that your heart is telling you that you want to do? And, then, when you get connected with that clarity of what your passion is, what gives you joy, then actions are easy.
S: I’m with you on that “crack the whip” thing. That turns me off, too. And how about what inspires you?
L: Well, part of why I moved to Santa Barbara was because of the beaches and walking on the beach does it for me every time. It’s a wonderful place to get quiet and just listen to your thoughts, and inspirations come to me frequently that way.
S: And what’s the most precious thing you’ve learned along this journey from Accidental Pren-her to entrepreneurial woman?
L: In many ways, over and over again, I’ve learned the importance of being true to myself and to listen to my own inner guidance. In fact, that is really the most effective compass on the road to success, and my ability to learn that for myself and my ability to help others learn how to do it has been, as you say, precious.
S: Oh, indeed it has. Lauren, once again thank you so much for being on the Accidental Pren-her show, and I know that you have a really special gift waiting for our readers and our listeners if they head over to your website. So tell us how to get to your website – what is that URL - and what is your special gift.
L: Sure. You mentioned earlier in the call about my seven stepping stone journey, which is my way of showing how I went through my own process and how I help others. So on my website I have a free gift – it’s sort of a free summary of those Seven Stepping Stones. It’s called “Uplift Your Life – Seven Strategies to Break Through Burnout, Boredom, and Blues”. It’s at my website, www.inspiredlifedesign.com. It basically gives you kind of a summarized look at those Seven Stepping Stones. Then, if you’re interested in my book, you can get the book and its companion workbook on my website, or you can order just the book through Amazon.com or through your local bookstore.
S: Lovely, Lauren! Thank you so much for being part of the Accidental Pren-her Show and for sharing your story with us.
L: Thank you for having me. It’s been delightful.
Lauren, the best thing I like about your journey from Accidental Pren-her to entrepreneurial woman is that you took time out to take stock of who you are and what was important to you. So many women just rush into the next thing and you didn't. Thank you for your marvelous example.
Posted by: The Original Accidental Pren-her | March 03, 2008 at 05:29 PM
Wow! So much fun listening to the interview with two of my most favorite people! Lauren, it's been such a joy and inspiration to watch you transform your life over the last decade. When I think back to all you've been through to get where you are today, it's astounding, inspiring, and motivating. I know your work and your words will change many lives. Many blessings as your journey continues to unfold!
Posted by: Carol McClelland, author of The Seasons of Change | March 03, 2008 at 06:32 PM
Hi Lauren.
I loved hearing your story and am going to go right now to your website and look into the Seven Stepping Stones. I do a lot of work with women who have lost their husbands in the line of police duty...and I have a hunch your Seven Stepping Stones...and your book.. could really speak to some of them. Many do not return to work following their loss and end up, after a period of grieving, pretty "lost", bored, burned out and blue.
Thanks to Susan for having you as a guest on her wonderful show. All the best to you.
Posted by: Jina Daigle | March 03, 2008 at 06:43 PM
Indeed, Jina, Lauren's one-on-one retreats would be wonderful for the women you work for who have lost their husbands in the line of duty. Lauren holds the space to go inward and heal.
Posted by: The Original Accidental Pren-her | March 04, 2008 at 08:18 AM
Hi Jina,
I'm so glad you enjoyed the interview! I would be honored to know that my book and my story have helped women who have lost their husbands in the line of duty. Indeed, any woman who finds that her life, as she has known it, has shattered will find comfort, confidence and guidance to rebuild her life through following the Seven Stepping Stone process. My heartfelt best wishes to your clients as they embark on their healing journey!
Lauren
Posted by: Lauren Sullivan of | March 04, 2008 at 11:27 AM
Susan, Thank you for mentioning my one-on-one retreats. I have been deeply touched by the transformations that occur when a women is given time and space to focus at depth on her needs, her desires and dreams and to reconnect with her strengths and her passions. One of my clients said to me, "Lauren, nobody's ever paid this much attention to me!" It really is amazing how easily inner truths are revealed just by having someone listen without time limits and without judgment or an agenda. I love this work and I am so grateful for the events of my life that led me to becoming, as you say, "an accidental pren-her".
Lauren
Posted by: Lauren Sullivan, author of Give Wings to Your Dreams | March 04, 2008 at 11:55 AM